Sunday, November 7, 2010

a letter...

To the Mother of My Children,

I know (that you know that you know) this already but I sensed that you could do with a friendly reminder. After all, why should Telecom be the only one giving out the "friendly reminders"? Are they really even friends with you? (Probably not if they're needing to "friendly remind" you!) I digress. I am your friend (mostly). And this is a genuine 'friendly reminder'.


I wish to remind you that your children are human beings not human doings. What I mean is, don't get too caught up in what they're doing (or not doing!). All the dance-ing and language-ing and music-ing and sport-ing and educate-ing (and then also, all the sport-ing and music-ing and educate-ing they're not doing...) is really not real at all is it. In fact, it's not much more than a whole lot of STRESS-ing!


And besides is it really that urgent that your children excel in every.single.area? Consider for a moment the expectations your child must feel?
Please, allow them time to just be. To be children. If anyone knows how quickly their childhood is disappearing it's you. Please, I urge, let them have it. Consider it a gift from you to them. In 20 (give or take) years from now, when your children are reminiscing with their peers about their childhood, what do you them to be saying? Oh, I remember when we were kids we used to...???


And then, there is the other kind of 'doing' you are far-too-often concerned about...their external behaviour. Oh mother, mother, mother. The What? of their behaviour is of far less concern to you than the Why?. Behaviour modification is easy (really!), but modifying motives and attitudes of the heart is the hard ask. Human beings remember? Always be more concerned with what kind of people your children are, and less with what they're doing. Any child can learn to obey/speak politely/share when their mum is around...but are they like that when mum isn't?


And if I can offer this one last (friendly) reminder - you aren't raising a daughter and three sons. You are raising a woman, a mother, a wife and you are raising three men. Three husbands. Three fathers. What kind of husbands and fathers and wife and mother do you want them to BE?
Or, is it more important to you what they DO? (So you can have a wee skite to your friends about your fancy-pants son/daughter??)
At the end of the day one goal is all about you, and the other is all about them.
Remember, human-beings.


Sincerely,
your friend (mostly),

Dee

*
Guard your heart with all diligence.
For from it are the wellsprings of LIFE.

(because sometimes i just need a jolly good reminder!)

8 comments:

  1. So lovely and so true. Its funny how we forget sometimes in our rush to get children fed, off to school & off to after school activities & fed & in bed....
    Really we should take our childrens lead and take the time to experience the pure joy of life, love & laughter as taught to us by children.
    Thank you for the reminder!

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  2. This is gorgeous, I adored it. Thanks for being so honest, and reminding us what is truly important.
    xx

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  3. Fabulous post! It's so hard to take a step outside the daily whirlwind of goings on and focus clearly on what really matters. You did this brilliantly with many pearls of wisdom to share.

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  4. What a great post! Its so true. Even the best intentioned of us can get caught up in the day to day drudgery and forget to enjoy our children and their unbridled joy.
    Thanks for the reminder!

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  5. so so true! thanks for the reminder.

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  6. I Couldn't agree more!!! Your words are so true...

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  7. WOW! How true...speaks to my heart! We all need to hear that one!!!! Thanks!

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