Wednesday, June 22, 2011

beware of the super mum

beware of the super mum.
she isn't that super.


sure, she might be ok at sewing a doll or remixing some thrifted clothes...but while she is busy grabbing hold of opportunities she's afraid she'll never have again, her REAL opportunities languish and unravel.
yes, it could be testosterone, or the rain keeping her son indoors that is making him behave the way he is. but she knows that this is because she hasn't stopped, bent down and listened to her son for much too long.
see super mums can't do it all (although it may seem like it), something has to give. and he has (they have) been the Give, while the opportunities have been the Take.

momentarily losing sight of what is truly important (and eternal) and the real reason for this season. being lured by something tangible to show for her day's work, because, although it would be lovely, you can't exactly thrust a child's nurtured and shaped heart at your husband as he walks in the door and say,  "here honey, look what i did today..."

a true super mum knows that good things take time and TIME makes good things. stopping (actually physically and mentally stopping) to listen to the construction plans for the latest machine, or the newly created Lego racing car, or to talk about hopes and dreams. a super mum doesn't read to her 4th child as much as she read to her first, but she does read to him.

a true super mum knows that her time and opportunities will come but right now, her greatest opportunity is to raise four beautiful adults one heart-shaping day at a time.

so to all the mums out there feeling Less-Than for pouring your days and lives into your precious children and having (seemingly) nothing to show for it at the end of the day except a whole lot of mess to tidy up, please be encouraged and know that YOU really are the super mums.
and this mum wants to be more like you.



  1. well said!
    i wrote a draft along similar lines today...*big exhale
    you're awesome

  2. Yes that is so well said, especially about having something tangible at the end of the day. I had the best day today just looking after my 2 year old and baby, some cleaning, baking, having fun together, nothing really tangible to show for it but just a lovely day that made me think how lucky I am.
    I like this little art work from Mika at Juggling Motherhood which really sums up being a SAHM some days :)

  3. This is my favourite post ever Dee. I remember thinking a few weeks after Ginny was born..'When was the last time I read to Fleur at night?' Getting that balance of Mother & having, even just a tiny bit of time to myself (without feeling guilty!) seems sometimes impossible, but then I think 'hang on' my little man with his crazy designs for his portal/ time machine has grown 'a tween' & how lucky am I that he still thinks I'm 'cool'!!! You're so right we can't show off the work we put into our babes every day, but those little comments when your out & about 'your kids are so neat...what lovely manners...etc, they are our little un-expected moments of acknowledgment. Bless

  4. Your post really touched me today. Its cold and becoming overcast and my 2 little men are going a bit crazy but I have to stop myself and ask, if I just paid them a bit of attention right now, even though I am in the middle of something, wouldn't they go away feeling like I cared about this or that, that I love their creativity or am actually interested in them and that I love them? Isn't that more important that anything else? Some times when hubby walks though the door and asked "what have you done today?" It is hard to say "I have been a Mum!!!" Because there is no tangible result. I guess one of the hardest things about being a parent is that we don't get that instant result from our days spent with little people, moulding them into adults as we do when we create 'something' but it's more important. I think we all have to learn how to juggle being Mums and being ourselves. Thank you for your post, it has really blessed my day

  5. oh Dee. you are so clever and insightful my friend. don't be to hard on yourself. big hugs to you. xx

  6. Thank you for the beautiful reminder!

  7. So true. You still are a Super Mum. Cx

  8. I love this. So beautifully written.

    I pray that one day I will be a mother like that too!


  9. Dee!!! You made me cry!! Did you know that I needed to hear that?? Thanks for sharing your ataahua thoughts and heart <3 with us. At Teachers College we used to talk about being Reflective Practitioners.....YOU are one of them in the parenting/life department and it makes for richer living. Arohanui my friend. Hoping to see you in the weekend. xx

  10. I shed a tear reading this too. I have been feeling the same way lately. I guilt myself all day about not getting enough sewing/housework/other shit done, when really I need to just chill out and make the most of the kids while they are little. Always good to have a reminder like this, and so beautifully worded too.
    (You are still a super-Mum in my eyes though.)


it means so much that you've taken the time to comment~ x