Wednesday, August 24, 2011

baby #5: Q & A


{was this baby planned?}
yes, and no. as soon as Danny was born, i felt there was still one more in our family. i tried hard to convince myself that we were done, but knew in my heart of hearts that we weren't.
i knew that if i followed my head over my heart i'd always bbe sorry and regretful.
however, we didn't try for this baby, so in a way it was a surprise. the reality of 5 kids is a lot more shocking than the dream of 5 kids...so this was the first time i actually cried (in the BAD way!) when i saw the positive. (sorry baby...you are so wanted and loved but you just surprised your mama initially!)

{how many children do you want?}
i was worried that i would never feel "done" with having kids. that maybe i had some psychological addiction to the feeling of being "needed" that a newborn provides or something..!
but i definitely feel done this time. phew,phew,phew!!
{don't you have TV?}
we have a television, but no reception. ollllld joke. move on...

{how can you afford to have 5 kids?}
i've noticed this is a common reason given for not having more children. it's legitimate i guess, but part of me thinks it's just buying into a society that is obsessed with consumerism and over-indulgence. both our parents were single-income families with 4 children. we never had extra, and sometimes had barely enough, but security, acceptance and love have the potential to raise just as spectacular adults as gymnastics lessons and private maths tutoring, don't you think?
we are a single income family on a VERY modest wage. due to exchange rates and choices we made in early marriage we are fortunate to have a lovely home with space for chickens and vege gardens. we don't spend a lot of time running to and from activities for the kids. this may change as they get older, but for the moment their life experience mostly occurs in and/or around the home. (don't underestimate what skills and character can develop at home: exploring; co-existing with siblings; building; balancing; creating; communicating; sharing; climbing; planting; pruning; growing... but this is really a different post altogether isn't it)

{will you still homeschool?}
that is always decided on a year by year basis, but at this stage yes, of course.

{will you homebirth again?}
unless there is legimate reason not to, absolutely!! i love how our children have been welcomed into the world by their siblings in their home. it is my most favourite experience in the world.

{do you have strong enough stomach muscles to support a growing baby for the fifth time?}
ok, so this is a question i asked myself...and the answer? no. (YIKES!) which is probably why i look about 8 months pregnant already. uh huh. i also left my pelvic floor muscles somewhere in my twenties. thankfully there are a plethora of elastic-y garments that improvise for muscle failure these days ;)

{will you find out what you're having?}
no way. absolutely not. i am entirely addicted to the excitement of not knowing. it beats a million christmas eves.
and besides, i can't be disappointed with another boy when there is a soft boy neck to sniff and an actual boy baby nursing in my arms, but i could be disappointed with a black n white scan image on my fridge of a boy i haven't met.
which leads me to the next question...

{are you hoping for a girl?}
yes. and no. Jada is desperate for a sister, and I'd love for her to have that experience (i have 2 wonderful sisters) BUT i realise they'd be eight years apart AND to have a girl as youngest...woah, can you imagine how much potential for Spoilt Brat there'd be??!!!
and to be honest, God knows what our family needs better than i do. and at any rate, i'm grateful to be providing society with a few men who have grown up with a wonderful father present.

{are you crazy?}
possibly. but without regret (so far!)

X

36 comments:

  1. Angela's going to go all gooey when she reads this!

    Not surprised you both come from families of 4, i am too and you'd think I'd want at least 4 but two is all we both want. I'm not ruling it all out completely though... just don't tell the hub that!

    I hope it's a girl just cos girls are cool!!

    8 months? pfffft!

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  2. Great Q & A! Thanks. So much to comment on, but my last thought was "I was a girl and the youngest of 5!!" I have one older sister, she was the middle child and we are 6 years apart. Seriously, she practically raised me. All my baby photos are of her looking after me, she was so smitten with a little sister. During my teen years I got all of her clothes which I LOVED, and now that i'm in my twenties and she's nearing her thirties I consider her a best friend.

    Age wont separate a sisterly bond in a big family.

    P.s, I LOVE my grown up family of 5. They are crazy and there is ALWAYS something new going on. I really appreciate the opportunity to be bonded to such a "community" and hope I can instal that same sense of community and love into my own future children.

    Much love! xx

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  3. Love this post!!! You are awesome! (and you know how I feel about big families!)

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  4. I hadn't realized! Congratulations! Babies are incredible. You are so blessed.

    xo
    Talia Christine

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  5. beautiful,honest and inspiring post! x

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  6. Oh so beautiful!! I always dreamed of 4 children, i'm the 4th of 4, i loved it, still do. We had 4 (3 girls including twins) then a boy, it's fantastic & a speedy way to create a family. I married my teen love, had babies straight out of Uni & pop, i was done by 29. Every family make up is different, i knew 4 was it for us (& my husband had a vasectemy while i was pregnant) as my husband is a soldier & constantly away, i could not spread myself further than 4 children. Now the eldest is in high school, i am so glad i trusted in my heart, body & mind that 4 was perfect for us, as that last one is now 7.5 years old & so gorgeous. Our 3rd born will always be our baby.
    So glad you mentioned budget, oh it's totally what you do with your time & money to make it possible on a single income that counts!! Good on you, love Posie

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  7. Congrats on your pregnancy! I too wondered and worried if I would know when I would be ready to say goodbye to my child bearing days..... in the end it was having my lil girl after 3 boys that did it for me, that and my body was well and truly over it.

    It's refreshing to read your spin on having a large family :) I get sick of the whole money thing too.

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  8. I love this post, it's so encouraging. I can't wait to be mama of four (or more...?) someday. It really REALLY gets me when people talk about money/finances and equating it to happiness/a reason not to have more children.

    You are amazing. xxx

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  9. Dee I cannot tell you how much I LOVE this post...you have expressed my sentiments exactly!! We have five and are wanting another and constantly get asked how will we afford it...I love your
    answer to this. Loving our children, making memories and really spending time with them means more to us than any material possession. We are raising our children how we were raised and we turned out pretty okay in my books as will our children :)
    xx

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  10. You are an amazing woman - and all of your childrem are as lucky to have you as their mumma as you are to have them as your offspring!

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  12. Thanks for the inside scoop. I may have to share your comments about enough money for a 5th with my hubby. I would love to add two more to our brood (of 2) but he's a worrier (and older). I just know that I'll wish I'd had more. So the prayers for me are still going up. Hopefully, the stress and worry will subside and he will just allow himself to be the exceptional father he is to two girls and a couple more.
    Fingers crossed.

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  13. You are my hero. In pretty much every way. Fully Stop.
    (Also, it might be the soppy pregnancy hormones talking, but this post made me cry big fat juicy tears of happiness..)

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  14. YES! to not finding out the sex
    Yes! to another homebirth
    ... in fact an all round YES! You rock!!!

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  15. Yeah for you for following your heart not your head. I always thought I'd have 4 - I have 2 gorgeous miracles whom I love very much!
    Yeah Yeah Yeah for Q&A .. .. .. love it xxx

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  16. You are such a down to earth person and so honest! et pleins pleins de bonheur a venir!

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  17. Great Q&A Dee - I like the way you look at life.

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  18. I cried with number 4 too! Totally felt the same as you, that we weren't quite finished, and am so glad we did have that extra special treasure!!

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  19. Go you good thing! Love your thoughts and priorities and outlook. Following with great interest and excitement for you:) xx

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  20. Loving the Q&A and your beautiful heart for your growing family. You are one of a kind Ms Dee :-)

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  21. "knows what our family needs better than i do. and at any rate, i'm grateful to be providing society with a few men who have grown up with a wonderful father present." Aww so very true Dee! Congrats, I admire your positivity, passion and dedication to your family. Fi xx

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  22. oops me again, I did not mean to omit "God" from the start of my last comment.

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  23. We have 6 kiddos...wished we had started having them earlier so we could have had more. Homeschooling is a blessing. Life seems to be getting easier as they get older..they grow up SO fast! Many hands make lite work is VERY true.
    God BLESS your growing brood!

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  24. Thanks for the lovely post Dee. I'm a new reader of yours, but have found much encouragement in your posts and I love your fashion! Thanks for being so honest in this post. It's encouraging to read it all. Good luck!

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  25. I liked reading this. I like your answers as well. Congrats and how exciting!

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  26. you are inspiring! What an amazing outlook on pregnancy and children! We have 3 girls and people say cruel things about having 3 girls! They are blessings for sure!what an amazing post!

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  27. Thank you darling Dee for your gorgeous outlook on big families... I am super scared that my heart will never feel like I have had enough babies!! I ADORE having 5 children and would love more, I love that feeling of awe watching so many bodies pile out of the car whenever we stop somewhere!
    I appreciate too that finances have not controlled your decision to have a big family, anyway, the more kiddos we have the more helpers to keep the home and garden running so that life can be less expensive!!! ;-)
    Dont worry about your body carrying another bubba either, if mine can do it ANYONES can!! xxx

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  28. Loving you, dee! Jen xx

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  29. I love you Dee! You have an insain way of summimg things up'totally, completely, and beautifully!'
    We have 5...& one income.....we survive...wouldn't change it for the world! xx Awesome

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  30. Congratulations. I am a mom of 8 and I got alot of those questions. I wish I could have home birthed, and I wish I can have more. I never found out for any of my pregnancies. I love the surprise. Enjoy your pregnancy and new born.

    Tiny

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  31. HI Dee, great post from a great mom, married to a great hubby, with great kids who serve an amazing and awesome God! God bless you all and truthfully ...its such a buzz to know you personally ... I mean I kinda feel like I know someone famous but don't worry, I won't ask for your autograph the next time I see you ... :) loads of love Venessa

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  32. This post makes me think of having more babies....for a moment. Then I go back to hearing my heart know that we are done at two blessings (who have been asking for a baby lately). I always say if I were ten years younger I'd have two more, but I'm not. Thank you for the reminder of the gifts of being at home (that's where it started for us with two home births and now continues with home schooling). We have many "home" days and they are filled with all of the things you mentioned. I was about to sign them up for some classes, but I may just get some chickens instead:0)
    Blessings to you and yours!

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  33. Such a great post and you are amazing Dee. I love your values and your children are so fortunate to have such great parents with so much wisdom and love. Little soul number 5 sounds very, very mean to be! All the very, very best for a great pregnancy and birth!

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  34. This post had me in tears! My baby number 4 (my first daughter) arrived 6 months ago, we have been asked (often indirectly) these questions many times. Your answers put into words so perfectly my own views. I wish I had your eloquence when responding. Good luck with your fifth child.
    Laura xx

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  35. Just found your blog through pinterest, and so happy to have done so! Congratulations on your fifth - that is awesome. We are working on #4, and hoping for 5 :)

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  36. I was having a rough "mommy" day today and stumbled upon your blog through pinterest. Thank you so much for this beautiful post . . . those mixed feelings, but mostly that feeling of absolute love for these little ones. Thanks again!

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it means so much that you've taken the time to comment~ x