{a letter} the deep surrender

to the mother of my children,

they say that in many ways labour prepares you for motherhood.
do you remember that time in labour when you realised you didn't actually need to make any sound but you felt you had to in case JR thought what you were doing was easy and/or painless? and so you kept on moaning and groaning - just so he knew how hard you were working.
here's something interesting, you're still doing it. moaning and groaning  - not because you need to but just to let everyone know how hard you're working.
in your last two labours you surrendered that need for acknowledgement, knowing that peace and calm was more beneficial.
but will you make that surrender now? here? in this place of endless laundry, crumbs, meals and vomit-drenched bed linen? of two-year-old tantrums and newborn cries? of bickering, toilet-training, clutter and toys?

you're afraid that no one will realise just.how.hard you are working. or worse, they will think you don't mind doing all the work you're doing. or worse still, that you won't be appreciated for all the work you do.
isn't that really it? you know and have seen the immeasurable benefit of peace and calm but the fear of not having your hard work acknowledged and appreciated is greater, and so you keep on moaning and groaning.
it's a deep, demanding surrender isn't it.

i know you know which is the better path.
don't be afraid of the hard surrender. of giving up what is temporal for what is eternal.
and if the birthing of your babies prepared you for any of this, you will know that acknowledgement and appreciation borne of peaceful hard work is so much sweeter than that which is wrung from moans and groans.

sincerely,
Dee.
..........
{i promised to share some of the lessons i have been learning since we've had 5 children. this is one of my hardest - to do the work of a mother with gratitude and joy even if it goes unnoticed and unappreciated. it's HARD! and i'm not there yet...)