The tongue has the power of life and death - Proverbs 18:21
It made so much sense to me because I was always able to imagine how gutted I would feel if I ever overheard JR mocking me with his friends or on Facebook - it would devastate me! If anyone has my back, I would expect it to be my husband. And vice versa.
When I was a new mum I absolutely loved being a mother and I was always so disheartened by the culture among mums of complaining about all the horrid things their kids did and joking about offering them up for sale. Add a decade, 4 more kids, a mammoth workload and I too have added my exhausted, jaded and far less idealistic voice to that culture. Sure, it's understandable but it doesn't make it OK and a personal paradigm shift is well overdue.
It's a damaging lie to think that by disparaging my children I will make the other mother feel better about her kids, because the truth is I'm not only exposing my kids when they aren't at an age to defend themselves, I'm also giving the other mother permission to try and say something worse about her kids to make me feel better about mine.
And on it goes - one-upmanship and trash talking our most precious taonga.
I want to make the same commitment to my children I made to my fiance. And I don't mean always sounding like my kids are perfect, (they aren't and there is always a time to empathise and offer advice) but I do mean being careful to speak about them more respectfully in conversations with other mums.
These kids need to know that if anyone's got their back, it's their mum.
Does that make sense?
Will you hold me to it?
Will you join me?